when you no longer matter

Everyone talks about getting into college, no one even touches the topic of getting out.
Graduation is such a blissful exciting time that no one even mentions the weeks leading up to it.
I'll touch the untouchable.
It's hell
My own private little hell trying to get out of here

Universitites are money making ventures like everything else in America, which means when it comes time for you to leave, things get blurred, and fuzzy and suddenly all those people who wanted to help you through your four years of undergrad start to disappear and not answer emails, and pretty soon you become part of the woodwork....
because you are no longer dishing out ridiculous amounts of money.

When you sign your name on the list of potential graduates its like they put a red flag by your name and everyone you deal with on your way out of the university knows that you're no longer a cash cow...you've been milked for all you were worth and now its time to let you go.

I've been struggling with 3 different offices and 5 different people trying to get out of here! I thought this would be the easy part but boy was i ever fooled. there are papers i need to get signed but no one can tell me where to get them or who has to sign them. My transcript changes daily to the point where i dont know if i truly do have enough credits to graduate and i get emails from people i dont even know telling me i have to prove my legitimacy by emailing a transcript...its exhausting

I feel like a lamb being lead blindly to the chopping block.

But once i have that diploma firmly in my hands i'll feel much better, then i know for sure that i am out...and i can finally move on.

Its when you graduate from college that you finally realize that people dont care. They dont care about you, there is no longer a "no child left behind" government mandate hanging over your head that forces people to push you and try to make you something amazing.

Once you graduate...you no longer matter to anyone but yourself, your friends and your family. Its a daunting thing. it means that you have to begin to value yourself, and your talents and what you have to offer the world...or you can go the way of the other 99% of college grads who drank and partied their way through college and once they graduate their main goal is to find a stable job that will allow them another 15 good years of partying.

That's not me, I'm hell bent on finding my own place in this world...even if it only ever matters to me. When you no longer matter to anyone else, you sure better start mattering to yourself.

xox
J