The first cut is the deepest...

Okay,
blog number 2
you would think i have nothing interesting to say now that i am stateside, but i've had so many thoughts running through my brain and my journals are just overflowing...i decided to share some of them
thus...
this blog
i'm not at a very interesting point my life....
I graduate from college in about 3 weeks...
then i'll be post-grad
in a recession
with hardly any jobs available
and those that are, i either dont qualify for or dont want
Therefore i have a retail job lined up
and that is all
i dont know what i will do for the year i'm taking off school...for the first time in my life i will have free time. No studying, no reading textbooks, it will be me and my life...nothing in between.
Slightly terrifying, partly edifying
in any case, i begin my year of non-education knowing only a few things...about my future...which is still up in the air, could change at any moment, its like the weather;
and about myself
What i stand for
and what i won't stand for
and really...i think that is a great place to start at 22 years old. dont you?

Perhaps i should preface all of this with my goal...fall 2011- Grad school-Ohio State CSEES program
Between then and now i have to grow into my life...I dont believe i'm mature enough for grad school, i dont know what i'm doing...i still would rather go out for drinks with friends then study. Maybe that will never go away but i think when you are really passionate about something, it starts to leak into all aspects of your life...and for better or worse that is really what i want.
In order to get that i feel i must find balance and peace inside of me...meaning dodge all the bad guys i have a habit of dating...get away from my friends that dont encourage me and instead pull me down. I have to organize and clean out my life...and embrace every single part of me...

This sounds like a selfish blog...all about me, i know...but you dont have to read it...and i need it...so it stays...and you can come or go...your choice

xox
J